NeverMind the Sh*tcoins: Episode 7: The Sexiest Kangaroo Paradox in Crypto
This is the transcript from #NVMTS episode 7, published 27.7.21.
Listen to the full episode on: https://nevermindtheshitcoins.buzzsprout.com/1810085/9096499-the-sexiest-kangaroo-paradox-in-crypto
Reach out to Mary Ann for transcription services if you require them too!
Joanne: What’s so sexy about kangaroos, Ben? Please, do tell.
[laughter]
Benjamin: I’ve got a costume. What can I say?
Joanne: I see. I get it now. Okay.
Benjamin: That big old pouch going on and all nice and snug, just makes me feel safe. What can I say?
[music]
Benjamin: For those of you just joining us, good evening and welcome to NeverMind the Shitcoins, an all new topical panel show, where we dive head-first into the weird news from the world of cryptocurrency. Like, for example, VISA has entered the NFT market. Yes, VISA. In news which shook crypto Twitter to its core, VISA bought a CryptoPunk for its collection of historic commerce artifacts. Purchase, which is worth a massive 0.001% of their quarterly turnover. Other items in their collection are set to include a zip-zap machine, early paper credit cards, and a plastic bag full of Beanie Babies they picked up cheaper at a car boot sale one week.
Vladamir: What was the MasterCard’s response, Ben?
[laughter]
Benjamin: I haven’t got a response from MasterCard yet, but I do have a secret weapon in your pocket this week. Just in case my punchlines fall short, which is more than likely to be fair. I was testing them out on Dionne earlier, but she laughs at everything.
[laughter]
Alexander: You just have to say — You just have to say, the triangle.
[laughter]
Benjamin: There we go. Anytime the laugh falls short, Alex, you just say triangle and you’ll bail us out.
Joanne: I wonder what’s in her head when she hears it though, because you can think of a few different things. I’m always wondering, what does she see in her head when he says that?
Benjamin: That’s not the type of question you want to ask.
[laughter]
Benjamin: In our other bit of news this week, in the US, Mad Money host, Jim Cramer has told viewers of one of the most popular finance shows in America that 5%, yes, a whole 5% of their portfolio should be in cryptocurrency. Did you hear that VISA? That’s not 0.01%. That’s 5%, guys.
False.
Benjamin: Owns. Right, that’s the intro bit out on. Here’s my emergency weapon.
[laughter]
Benjamin: We’ve got a track of dead people laughing just in case you guys don’t laugh.
[laughter]
Dionne: Dead people?
[laughter]
Alexander: Sad news as well, yesterday was 10-year anniversary since we last heard from Satosh, 10 years. You remember —
Joanne: Maybe he’s one of the dead people laughing.
[laughter]
Noam: Maybe he got disappointed to know the crypto stuff and decentralization. He went to find somewhere in the mountains to have some rest.
Benjamin: Went to live that funnel’s life.
Alexander: The rumor is he’s part of the crypto community now. That’s the latest rumor.
Benjamin: [laughs] Well, we won’t speculate on that, Alex, but I like it. All right. To introduce everyone, we got a couple of new faces here this week, guys. On team NFTs, Me-Tease, Me-Tease, my baby — We’re going to have, oh, who should we put together? Let’s go. Antoine and Joanne, you can go together, okay? And on team, NF Take-it-somewhere-else, please, guys, we’re going to have Alexander, Vladimir, and Noam. Hey. Welcome to the show, everyone. Round one, Not the News. Our first round, very simple —
Noam: Wait, Wait, Wait. Sorry, just to make sure. Did you enable split recording this time?
[laughter]
Benjamin: I did. Thank you for keeping me on track, Noam.
Noam: I didn’t want to find that out at the end of this show.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Yeah. Oh, that couple of weeks ago, I had forgot to press record full stop. We had to pull it from YouTube afterward, which was shameful really, but we get these early mistakes out of the way. Round one. Now we’re definitely recording and definitely all on separate tracks. It’s called Not the News. If you’ve not seen the show before, it’s very, very, very, very, very simple, this around. So simple, I forgot to write an introduction for it. Basically, I’ve got a couple of headlines from the week’s news in blockchain and cryptocurrency, but to be a bit sneaky, I’ve taken a couple of words out of the headline. All I want our guests to do to win some points for their teams, is tell me what the missing words are and what the story is about.
Joanne: So we’re not taking turns right now. It’s just kind of whoever on whatever team shouts it out?
Benjamin: Yeah, shout. Shout out the answers and our score keep extraordinaire Dionne will be trying to make some sense of the anarchy. Basically, it’s her job now. I’ll just read the words. Brilliant. Question one for your guys, Binance is incapable of what says, the British regulators? It’s two words I’ve taken out of that.
Vladamir: Comply with regulations.
Benjamin: You’re on the right lines obviously, but they used some very specific wording.
Vladamir: Regulations, I think, for sure.
Joanne: Oh, yeah, because they’re too big now, right? They can’t supervise everything.
Benjamin: Yeah. Yeah. You got it there, Joanne. I’m going to give you the points for that. Though missing words —
Joanne: Two or one? But there’s two words.
Benjamin: One point. One point for the rounds, I think.
Dionne: Nice try.
Benjamin: [laughs] Dionne says, nice try.
[laughter]
Benjamin: But yes, the headline was Binance Are Incapable Of Effective Supervision, the British regulator state. The FCA who are our big regulating body over here, our equivalent of the SEC, cited three main reasons for imposing restrictions on Binance. Do you want to hear what they were, kids? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, you do. Of course, you do, don’t you? The reasons were failing to carry out regulated activity, not securing an appropriate degree of protection for its customers, and being associated and owned by the Prince of Darkness and Lord of the Underworld himself, SEC.
[laughter]
Benjamin: I have a statement from Binance as well. They told the world, “We are committed to working with regulators and policy makers. And if this doesn’t work, we’ll condemn their mortal souls to eternal fiery damnation.”
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Joanne: They haven’t paid off the right people.
Antoine: Maybe FCA works like SEC, and they just want some money from Binance.
Benjamin: Pretty much. I can’t insinuate the British politicians just want backhanders. But I suppose you guys can. Speaking about politicians then, question two, Crypto-Savvy US Senator sees what in Wyoming? It’s two words again.
Joanne: Is it a name, not words?
Vladamir: Crypto regulation.
Benjamin: No.
Noam: Oh, the DAO, the DAO thing, the DAO, I remember.
Benjamin: Yes, you’ve got the story there. Yeah. Effectively, that’s what she was on about, using a DAO in US politics. But it was a politician, Cynthia Lummis, who apparently sees the future in Wyoming. Sadly, it doesn’t mean she’s developing any super mutant powers or anything like that, which would have been freaking cool, wouldn’t it? But no, she’s very pro crypto-currency, and yeah, plans to sit down with President Biden to discuss her plans, assuming he can stay wakeful long enough.
[laughter]
Joanne: This is crazy. I have to Google it.
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Alexander: The Dao, it’s impossible.
Noam: No, no. They want to make it official, but the trick you get proper KYC and AML, and then it’s kind of what kind of Dao —
[background noise]
Benjamin: Is someone’s photocopying their bum in the background?
[laughter]
Joanne: I actually hear a microwave or something.
Antoine: But I just wonder, it has to comply with the constitution and all this stuff. How are they going to do it? Are they trying to do it specifically in Wyoming?
Joanne: It seems like just Wyoming, yeah.
Antoine: Okay. Now, I see it. It might work. Yeah.
Joanne: Yeah. She’s trying to look progressive, I guess, but —
Antoine: They will be like Delaware for crypto dollar companies, right?
Benjamin: Yeah, she wants to convince the rest of the US to take a regulation light approach to the markets, essentially. Yeah, who needs another war on something they can’t actually wage war on? But they say, I don’t know politics and I should shut the f*ck up really well I’m ahead.
[music]
Benjamin: Right. After the round one, Dionne, what are our scores?
Dionne: NF Tease-Me Tease-Me has one. The other one got one. Just checking.
[applause]
Benjamin: Scorekeeper extraordinaire there, Dionne.
[laughter]
Dionne: I was reading YouTube.
Benjamin: She was reading YouTube for us so I’ll cut her a break, but it’s nice to be able to pick on her for once. I’ll get in a bit serious there. Let’s go back to our usual agenda, shall we folks? Round two, I like this one. I like this one quite a lot. I’ve called it Craig Wright or Craig Wrong.
Antoine: Who is Craig?
Vladamir: Craig Wright.
Benjamin: Well, if you’re not familiar with them, you will be at the end of these rounds. If bullshit was a tradable commodity, then Craig Wright would have his own stock exchange by now. Yet somehow, believe it or not, there are still some people out there who operate under the ill-conceived conception that Craig isn’t a more moronic, diluted oxygen thief. Given the altruistic nature of our show here, we thought we do our best to lift the lead on this silly Pinocchio as we play a little game I like to call, Craig Wright or Craig Wrong. All it is, I’ve got —
Alexander: Let’s make a disclaimer, he’s suing everybody so everybody on this —
[laughter]
Benjamin: No. He can try and sue me, but I’m not saying anything which isn’t true here, to a degree.
Joanne: He might take gruts.
Benjamin: No, he can’t take my gruts.
[laughter]
Benjamin: All I’ve got for you guys here, I’ve got a couple of a series of statements, five of them, in fact, five whole statements. They’re either from Craig Wright himself or they are from me pretending to be Craig Wright. All you guys need to do, and we’re going to play in teams, I want one answer from each team is tell me whether the statement is Craig Wright or Craig Wrong. First one for you, oh, and just a pre-warning, this part of the show gets quite blue already. If you want to argue with me, get the f*uck out of my life forever. That’s my best Australian accent so don’t expect to get better than that.
Joanne: I don’t think it was him. Are we still on teams right now or are we just shouting out?
Benjamin: Yes. Antoine, do you agree with John? You think that’s actually him?
[crosstalk]
[laughter]
Antoine: Ben Wright. I would say this is Ben Wright. Craig Wrong.
Vladimir: Yeah. I think he’s wrong, but he might have said it.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: Alrighty.
Vladimir: I think says things like that. I want to confess, but I believe that he could have said that.
Benjamin: I think we should have harsh words with him after the show, because unfortunately, Vladimir, that was actual Craig Wright. Not me on that one.
Joanne: Yeah. I’ve seen him go off before on video.
Vladimir: Ben, you are wrong. You are very wrong, but Craig was right.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Craig was right, I was wrong. Oh, this is totally new to a paradox now.
[laughter]
Benjamin: All right. Second statement for you. I’m here while I’m studying 19 degrees, and last year it was up to 25. I’m trying to start other companies while simultaneously managing multiple law suits.
Joanne: That accent is terrible, I’m sorry.
[laughter]
Benjamin: I know.
[laughter]
Vladimir: I was trying to see if it’s Zealand but it’s not.
[crosstalk]
Joanne: I don’t know what that was.
Noam: Is he writing those things sober?
Benjamin: Well, who knows? I was sober when I wrote my versions of them, but to be fair, if you could read them out off the paper, there’s a really easy clue. Mine are all spelled correctly, his are all full of typos and bad spelling. Read into that while you will. But yeah, go on. What do you think this time, guys? Do you think that was him or do you think that was me? Craig Wright or Craig Wrong?
Joanne: I have no idea. I don’t even know what he said. Can’t say.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Should I do it without the accent? All right. I’m here whilst I’m studying at 19 different degrees, and last year it was up to 25. I’m trying to start other companies while simultaneously managing multiple law suits. Vladamir, I want to see those hands so I can tell you’re not Googling there, buddy.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: I can see there’s always a man thinking about Googling.
[crosstalk]
Vladimir: I’m not Googling. I feel there is lack of aggression in the statement —
[laughter]
Vladimir: -because you’re described as more straightforward. I also feel a lot of self-vividness in the statement. That’s why I think it’s you.
Benjamin: You think it’s me this time?
Alexander: Yeah, it sounds Ben.
Benjamin: Do you agree with him, Alex and Noam?
Noam: Oh, we are on the same team.
Benjamin: A united team. You are team NF Take-it-somewhere-else, which is much longer when I have to keep saying it five times. NF Tease-Me, do you think that was me or Craig, good old Craig? Craig.
Joanne: It doesn’t sound like anybody. I think maybe you wrote it under another identity or something.
Vladimir: Satosh come up under identity.
[laughter]
Benjamin: He actually revived the old accounts after 10 years. But no, I believe that’s NF Tease-Me again then for the points, because that was in fact, Craig again, claiming that he is apparently studying 19 university degrees at the same time, and he was studying 25 of them last year and suing everyone as well.
Noam: Which means he failed about six. Is that something to be proud of?
Vladimir: I think he got sober and his aggression turned into self-bitterness. I could explain that, but it seems stupid.
Benjamin: He spends 22 hours a day angrily studying, angrily studying.
Vladimir: It’d excuse why he studies only 25 things a day and lawsuits. Come on guy, get yourself together and bring the Bitcoin or Ethereum, at least.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Right. Next one for you. The simple answer that none of — I’ll do it without the accent.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Drop that. Drop that, don’t insult the audience. I have Australian friends out there somewhere.
Joanne: Australia?
[laughter]
Benjamin: The simple answer that none of you seem to get is that you’re sitting in a forum casually talking with a guy who has more inventions than Tesla, Einstein, and Edison combined. If you don’t like that, piss off. Sorry, resist the Aussie bit at the end.
Vladimir: Combination of the previous two. The previous two were all Craig Wright so it should be Craig Wright.
Benjamin: Craig Wright.
Alexander: I agree, Craig Wright.
Joanne: I’m going to say that was Ben because it’s time for you.
[laughter]
Benjamin: As I keep warning. No, am not, Jo. There’s no logic with this show. That was Craig Wright again. You try and use logic, you’ll fall short.
[laughter]
Noam: Jo, he probably randomized it just for you.
Benjamin: Just in case. All right. Final couple, then we’ll get through these quickly. Kangaroos are a great source of protein and actually quite sexy despite what people say.
Joanne: What? That’s Ben, I guess.
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Vladamir: That’s Ben. That’s all person Ben.
[crosstalk]
Noam: No person says that.
Antoine: I don’t believe the friends animals are real. I think your friends is only people. That’s why I think it’s you.
Vladamir: For sure too.
[crosstalk]
Joanne: What’s so sexy about kangaroos, Ben? Please, do tell.
[laughter]
Benjamin: I’ve got a costume. What can I say?
Joanne: I see. I get it now. Okay.
Benjamin: That big old pouch going on and all nice and snug, just makes me feel safe. What can I say?
[laughter]
Benjamin: Anyway, I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. I think that’s because my drink’s empty, dear. Oh yeah. She’s good. She’s good. Right. Final one, and obviously points to everyone there. That was me being a douche. Final one, of course, I’m not actually Satoshi only a freaking numnuts would believe that crock of shit. Could go either way this one, couldn’t it. It’s a tricky one.
Antoine: Not Sadoshi, he said he was not Satoshi.
Noam: Depends on how many 11s they play, Ben.
[laughter]
Alexander: Just to bring some logic into this, I think he was not saying he was Satoshi. He was at the core of the team that was behind the Satoshi come out except the names. But I think it’s still you, Ben.
Noam: I would say it isn’t.
Antoine: Could it be right.
Noam: It’s not Ben.
Alexander: Joanne, what do you think?
Joanne: I think it might be right. I think he might’ve said it after that recording when he went off on everybody on stage.
[crosstalk]
Alexander: Team, let’s reach consensus quickly, Vladamir.
Vladamir: I feel there is barriers. He’s probably saying that there were six of other people like him. He was part of Satoshi motto like subtle or shit or nothing. Maybe that’s how I understand that. That’s why I think it’s Craig.
Benjamin: Again guys, what do I keep telling you? That’s logic you’re using there. You would have been right to go with Wrong. Unfortunately, that was just me douching about. The guy does genuinely still protest to be Satoshi with no sense of irony or layeredness to it apparently that I’m aware of.
Vladamir: You would get half a point for split opinions or not?
[laughter]
Benjamin: Well, I think I’ll leave the score keeping to Dionne as I go on mute on everything.
[music]
Benjamin: What are our scores, Dion?
Dionne: Well, NF Take-it-somewhere-else have 3 points. NF Tease-Me-Tease-Me have four.
Benjamin: Awesome. Cool. What are plays for then, guys? We’re going back to familiar territory with this round. It was so much fun. Last time when we added south here though, I thought we’d have another little game of play your NFTs rights. Yay. Who’s going to do the describing for our team on NF Take-It? Alex, Vladamir, or Noah. Do you want to describe the NFTs for the other two?
Noam: I say we give it to Alex. What do you say, Alex? Can you describe NFTs?
Alexander: Why should I describe them?
Noam: Basically, you’re going to see, how did he describe it, something with eyes, three eyes, two eyes.
Joanne: Yeah, the Simpson with the floppy fish or flappy. Yeah. I’m definitely curious how Alex is going to describe things. I’d say it’s a good pick. Yeah.
Alexander: Why don’t we try Vladamir, he’s new. I like him but I thought he did that before.
Vladamir: Should I take still describe it or —
Benjamin: Well, no, I’ve got some pre-prepared, all we need to do, because obviously this is going out as a podcast at the end of the day, if you can go through these NFTs for me one by one.
Vladamir: What’s the goal? Why should I describe it?
Benjamin: The goal is very simple for these guys to then tell me, with the first one, like I say, whether it costs more or less than a million dollars. Then we’ll use that one as the price for the next one. If you ever played the Price is Right, or Lucky Cards where you play higher or lower, that kind of thing. We’ll keep moving along the price and your team can pick up a whole three points if you can add it poorly described these NFT.
Vladamir: Yeah, I can say like, it looks beautiful, my personal opinion. Yeah, of course.
Benjamin: I’ve not gone for purely ridiculous ones this week because to be fair, yeah, there is some amazing artwork being produced in the NFT market. I sold my very first NFT this week.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: I severely under-priced it. It was on a Grand Bazaar, the Frito marketplace, of course. I put it on for the princely sum of 100 Ton. Someone bought it and immediately re-listed it for 1200.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: Hate to that person.
Vladamir: Oh my God.
Benjamin: They obviously value my artistic skills a little more than I do.
[laughter]
Vladamir: It was Joanne, I hope.
Noam: You know what? Because you get it one time so it gets valued because you had it.
Benjamin: It’s the very first in what will definitely be a limited edition series. [laughs] There’s got to be some words there, from my perspective.
Noam: Have you already made a NeverMind the Sh*tcoins NFT?
Benjamin: Well, actually it’s funny you should mention that. Before we play the game then, if our lovely audience and everyone here can see, I’m thinking the best way to maybe do these T-Shirts just in the initial stages while I’ve only got a few of them is, we might put them on to Grand Bazaar because you can also put the function for a physical product on there. If anyone has any better ideas, like say we’ve got a few t-shirts, we got a little bit of merch, we want to do some competitions and giveaways. Let us know if you’ve got ideas out there, audience people. Okay? I do like this T-shirt a lot. I’m going to post it and everything is all starting to look all professional. Professional. Right. Anyway, NF play your NFTs rights. Vlad, if you’d be so kind.
Vladamir: The first one —
Noam: Wait, wait.
[laughter]
Noam: This time we have three people. This time we have three people on the chat.
Benjamin: You and Alex and Vlad need to come to a consensus between you. Then Joanne and Tony will be —
[crosstalk]
Noam: He can stay. He doesn’t have the price in front of him though so he can still take part in that sense. The description’s just for our podcast listeners really and for fun, you know? So the first one.
Vladamir: Yeah, it’s a lady. She’s a crooked lady without an eye, or maybe with an eye stitch. The right eye is stitched. She probably got a burst from hell. She has one stitched eye like in Neil Gaiman’s book. The other one is probably going to be stitched too. I’m not sure. It feels like it fell off or something. I’m not sure. Everything is in very strange colors, like hellish colors, I would say. Now in colors, the green one, the red one. She has some kind of fire on her head for some reason. She’s on fire. I’m not sure that instead of hands she has, I don’t know what’s that, it’s like a carpet flower, or flower carpet or something.
Benjamin: A carpet instead of hands?
Joanne: Sounds like the human centipede doctors in hell.
Antoine: Would that be something that you can imagine being sold at Christie’s or Southbase or something like that?
Vladamir: No. No. She looks very sad. She looks too sad for Southbase. Maybe for open sea. Should I say how much I value?
Benjamin: Yeah, the ultimate aim here is, do you guys think that piece then that you just described is worth more or less than a million dollars?
Noam: A million dollars?
Benjamin: Million dollars.
Vladamir: Some signs. There are two stars and one zero on the left corner, two stars on the right one, zero. I don’t know. Maybe there is hidden meaning there but —
Antoine: What’s your take? What is, you’re looking at it. Is it, should we go for over or below million?
Noam: Remember, people are stupid.
[laughter]
Alexander: I agree, maybe Craig Wright bought it.
Vladamir: I think Craig Wright might have done this picture, actually.
[laughter]
Vladamir: If he had some talent he could have done it for one of 25 of his degrees.
[crosstalk]
Noam: Vladamir, I won’t ask you about more or less. I want to ask you, how much do you think a stupid person would pay for that?
Vladamir: Stupid like me maybe —
Noam: No, no stupidier than you. You’re real smart, I’m sure of that. Stupidier than you.
[crosstalk]
Noam: Because it’s probably not 250 so I had to put that term inside. Now that’s`what we have this, Anthony. Anyway, it’s not even 350 so why would you pay? No. If you were stupid than you are, how much would you pay for that?
Vladamir: Half Ethereum.
Benjamin: You guys are going lower?
Alexander: Last question, Vladamir, would Justin Sun pay more —
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Vladamir: Craig Wright, Justin Sun, they would pay 20,000. Important thing, it looks like modern art. It looks very modern, but I don’t like the style.
Alexander: Really subjective.
Noam: No, but the fact that you don’t like it doesn’t mean anything. It’s art. We are not supposed to like it.
Benjamin: You guys have kind of gone lower there. To put you out of your pondering state of being here, the kind of clue, which you might have kind of seen is that you picked up on that zero and those stars in the corner. This is actually part of the collection of series. These ones are going for big pennies. This was $2 million, this one. For the carpet hands description, it’s quite a fabulous collection, I think personally. Again, it’s crazy money, $2 million a piece, but it is I bet.
Vladamir: Do sound or —
[background noise]
[laughter]
Benjamin: I have to keep remembering my toilet flush, it’s what makes the show. [laughs] It’s what people are really tuning in for, isn’t it?
Noam: That’s the true meaning of shitfunds.
[laughter]
Benjamin: I know. We love all shitcoins coins there. Vlad, NFT number two for us please. But it should be quite an easy one to describe.
Vladamir: It’s like a Popeye-like guy like Mr. Popeye.
[laughter]
Vladamir: But the dude is totally 8-bit. You can feel, you cannot just feel, you can see the big, big pixels out there. It’s probably made out of 32 by 30. Oh no, I think 64 by 64, big pixels.
Noam: Is pixel art?
Vladamir: Pixel art, yes.
Noam: That raise the price considerably first.
Vladamir: Yes, I agree with that. He wears a hat. He smokes a pipe and probably a couple of glasses. That’s it.
Benjamin: Higher or lower than $2 million?
Noam: Higher or lower?
Benjamin: I’ll give you guys a bit of a clue to be fair. This one isn’t just any kind of pixel art. This is one of the crypto punks, that people —
Vladamir: You are trying to tell us that it cost more than 2,000 million dollars.
Benjamin: No, I’m not trying to give you a clue. $2 million is a lot of cheddar cheese either way, isn’t guys?
[crosstalk]
Alexander: Well, to be fair, not many CryptoPunks went over 2 million so it’s a tough one.
Vladamir: It looks like it’s a real guy. It’s a replica of some real guy but I can’t —
Noam: Did VISA bought it?
[laughter]
Vladamir: No, no. Bought nothing but he wears two a square glasses. Maybe it might remind you of someone
Noam: What kind of glasses? Wine?
Alexander: Kind of square.
Vladamir: Square glasses.
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: A little bit whacky for my taste.
Vladamir: I don’t know that many people doing this stuff, smoking a pipe, wearing glasses, and a hat.
Noam: French guy. It’s a French guy, for sure.
Alexander: For sure say below 2 million.
Noam: I go with higher.
Benjamin: Noam said higher.
Vladamir: I think higher.
Benjamin: Higher? They say higher. It was indeed higher. This was the highest priced ever crypo punk, this one.
Joanne: That’s not fair, think you’ve given the way.
Benjamin: Nothing’s fair on this show Jo, get used to it. [laughs]
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: Yes, $7.57 million is the price to against on this one, Vlads, if you can describe our third and final one for us, from over there too.
Vladamir: This is a tough one because —
Benjamin: You say tough one.
[laughter]
Vladamir: It’s like, if you take a black square by malerish and you try to transform it into NFT, that’s what you would get in the result because it’s not square anymore where it’s shaped and there are different shades of black here. It’s like someone lost the map and then it got into the mud, someone shit the mud.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Again, this is good description guys.
Joanne: That’s the rock, right? There were some rocks being sold, pet rocks. They were billing for a lot, but this is not fair because you already said the other one was the most expensive so it has to be lower.
Benjamin: I know I said that was the most expensive crypto punk.
[crosstalk]
Vladamir: I can say that this is the most expensive, but if this is the case, I’m going to be upset about the world.
[laughter]
Vladamir: I wouldn’t be upset even for the black squares but this is really very upsetting.
Antoine: Should I say below just for a change?
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: Well, your faith in humanity can be restored, Vlads. That a lovely map, which fell in the mud and then had someone’s bum wiped on it, where it cost you $214,000. Not to be sniffed up, but this is NFT paper or something, just collections of differently colored JPEG paper stuff in the hundreds of thousands. Again, there’s some fantastic arts work out there, and then there were some absolute insanity going on in this market, but again, each to their own.
Noam: I always say I need to bring a coin in advance for the show because intuition.
Benjamin: Whenever Dionne can’t make up her mind about something, what I get her to do is flip a coin and then we won’t say the answer and I’ll say, which side do you hope it’s on? Are you hoping for heads? Or are you hoping for tails? Then you know your answer. Good trick for life, especially with kids. That one works really well.
Noam: I contest my own idea for an entity outside of the context.
Benjamin: That would be perfect to kick it out.
Noam: Okay. It’s black and white, mostly. There is a man in there. He’s pretty skinny and he doesn’t exactly, I think he holds some kind of stone in his hand.
Vladamir: What kind of crystal did it take?
Joanne: Oh, I know. Do I get a point if I guess it? It’s Dionne’s NFT.
Noam: Yeah.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Even Dionne didn’t get the answer. [laughs] Yeah. Available on Grand Bazaar. I think she’ll give you a point for that.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: You always get points for brown-nosing Dionne round here. Right, when you’re ready, Tony, if you can take it away from us, buddy.
Antoine: John, this is a letter that is a kind of arisen toll, but it’s also a number but representing time but really, really long period. You can’t define it.
Benjamin: What else does it say?
Dionne: Is it the infinity sign?
Antoine: I have to say that it’s written like when a man and a woman make relevance on, you know.
Benjamin: I’ll say the words for you. Antoine. Under this symbol, it says the words, porno.forever.
[laughter]
Antoine: I can say it.
Benjamin: Yeah, you can say. Swear your heart out buddy.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: You’re just being very coy.
Joanne: porno.forever.
Antoine: It says, porno.forever. Then you have the sign just before, just a sign.
Joanne: There’s no pixelated people, and there are no cats so I think it’s low. It’s got to be like a $200 dollars.
Benjamin: So we go in less than a million. Do you agree?
Noam: Yeah. Yeah.
Joanne: I would say less.
Benjamin: No, that one is a massive $3.1 million for that.
Joanne: I don’t even understand what’s going on with it. It was something about time, keep going, but porn. It had this really deep meaning and then it’s like Porno Forever. What?
Benjamin: Pretty much. Antoine, did the picture weigh more justice than it deserved with his eloquent descriptions there, to be honest. It is literally just a rainbow colored forever symbol with the words Porno Forever underneath it. Yeah. Random. Very random. But yes, next one for us please, buddy.
Antoine: The next one is a crypto pendant with green eye and the brown hair, red mouth on a gray background, but really simple with Pixar like crypto coin. Nothing much, nothing less. [laughs]
Joanne: Is it one of the aliens?
Antoine: Yeah, it could be wanderer like —
Joanne: It has a Mohawk. Okay, more. Expensive.
Benjamin: They say more because of the Mohawk.
Joanne: Yeah.
Benjamin: You agree Tony? What do you think? Do you think it’s more or less than $3 million?
Antoine: When I look at it, oh my God. You say more, let’s say more.
Benjamin: Well, you should’ve gone with your cut buddy. That was actually the crypto punk that VISA bought this week themselves. They splashed down a massive, 150K out of all their profits. They chose the cheapest Crypto Punk they could find.
Joanne: It has a Mohawk.
Benjamin: Yeah, it has a Mohawk. It still is a floor-price one apparently. That’s the basic pitch Crypto Punk everyday Joes get nowadays, sir.
Joanne: I’m not doing so well this round.
Benjamin: Well, last one. See if you can get yourself one final point from this round. Last one for us, please.
Antoine: The last one, Joanne, you have to focus a lot.
[laughter]
Antoine: Huge, huge rock, like little picture. Only a rock.
Joanne: This is more than 150K, right? But it’s a rock. I’ve seen those rocks everywhere in the past two weeks.
Antoine: But it’s a special rocks. I’m sure million —
[laughter]
Joanne: Okay. So which rock is it? Is it the one with the eyes or is it just a rock?
Antoine: It’s a gray rock on the blank, on the white — It’s a really, really artistic rock.
Joanne: I still think it’s more because those rocks are just everywhere, but then there’s logic so —
Antoine: Specific or special. Let me check again because —
[laughter]
Benjamin: Very distinguishing features.
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Joanne: A little lighter brown over here, the little shading over there.
Benjamin: Yeah, you got it.
Joanne: It’s got to be 6 million.
[laughter]
Noam: He led Joanne to suspect all those rock NFTs are actually money-laundering.
Joanne: Not just the rocks but everything.
Benjamin: There’s a lot of suspicion about these, but yeah, just to give you the answer before we waffle on too much away from the points. They went higher Dionne so that was correct. This was the most expensive NFT rock sold at first originally. Thought it was a picture of light coin, to be honest, but no, it’s a picture of a rock, $1.3 million, for that one.
Joanne: Only 1.3. That’s cheap. Can’t be that rock.
Benjamin: I love you description, buddy.
[music]
Benjamin: After round three, Dionne, what are our scores?
Dionne: Well, after round three, we have a tie. All art playful.
[music]
Joanne: Bring it.
Benjamin: Bring it. [laughs] We’re moving into Joanne’s wheelhouse rounds here. Noam, I’m again up to you if you want to sit back and just listen in. We’ve tamed down since those first couple of weeks a little bit purely because it was bad for my soul reading all those horrible, horrible things on Urban Dictionary. I’m scarred for life. But yeah, if there’s one thing we like on this show, apart from all things cryptocurrency, it’s a good pun and even better when it’s a little bit of a rude pun. Okay. Our final round is when we like to dim the lights, put on a bit of Barry White in the background, what we would do if we could afford the royalties, the UC songs, and yeah, get a little bit frisky as we play crypto in you and your two questions. If you can slide the answers together for me, you’ll find one nice satisfying answer out of the two.
The really good example we liked from last week was, what is the world’s largest stable coin? And what happens when a man gets a little bit overexcited downstairs?
Vladamir: Tether erection.
Benjamin: Yeah, you get it, tether direction, not a tether bonus as Nikita said last week. [laughs] Who knows what a tether bonus is, but you had a good time. All right. Ready when you are guys. Our first one. Like I say, just shout out. You get one point if you get half the answer. You get three points, if you get a full answer without any kind of input from anyone else. First one Charles Hoskin’s project, which has seen a bit of a surge in popularity lately, and the best way is to watch a bit of porn without leaving a search history on your computer.
Vladamir: Cardano
Benjamin: Yeah. That’s the first point.
Vladamir: Cardano Job.
[laughter]
Benjamin: What? Cardano Job? [laughs] I’m sure Charles will give one of them out for —
Joanne: That’s soon going to be an urban dictionary, Cardano job last night.
Benjamin: If it’s not in there, we are so filling that in later. If you’re on Google Chrome, you would use the incognito mode, is their version of it. 3, 2, 1. Cardanamous, I said it wrong.A cardonomous browser, cardanamous browser, Jesus.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: Anonymous browser.
Joanne: I would say incognito mode. I keep trying to —
Vladamir: I would say cardonoprah, cardonaprah because Opera was the most anonymous browser. It’s true. But it’s a private stuff. It was a joke because Opera invented private tabs and VPN included in the browser and there was a joke that people use private tabs and VPNs, and the answer was Shopify 100% foreign.
Benjamin: Like it. I always remember there was an advert here in the UK where it was, I can’t remember which browser it was, but they were emphasizing the private browser feature. It was a woman getting home, and mom was on the computer. He was in a room on his own and he looks at bit and she came in through the door and he was buying a jewelry. Oh, nice. Let me up the wrong path there you sneaky advertisers. Right. Question two. The commercial brand name of the little blue pill, which helps men perform and the slang phrase for getting crypto or NFT trading information ahead of the rest of the game.
Noam: Viagra.
Vladamir: We never tried that, Ben.
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Joanne: What blue pill?
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Vladamir: Viagra.
Benjamin: I stressed over, even if I heard that good for her as well. Go on, who said the second part there? Did someone say? They say they’re getting free —
Vladamir: Signal.
Benjamin: Yeah, it’s a more slanky word for signals nowadays. Viagra, front-running sounds a fun sport, but, [laughs] no. Is it just me? Who said this to him about when people say, oh, I’ve got some free alpha. It’s like, they’re trying to show all their coins or —
Joanne: Too cool for us. Too cool.
Benjamin: I think it’s probably that I’m trying to be cool and I’m really not, Jo. [laughs] I’ll tell you what, we’ll give everyone a point for that one because I sucked. I let you down guys. This one’s easy. You’ve got to get this one. A sexual desire toward an item or a part of the body, which might not otherwise be considered sexual, and the act of over-hyping a queen or token to sell it to your followers.
Joanne: Shilling.
Benjamin: Shilling is the second part.
Joanne: Geez.
Vladamir: Harassment.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Harassment? No, definitely not harassment.
Vladamir: Fetish.
Benjamin: Yeah, put it together.
Joanne: Fetish Shilling.
Benjamin: Fetish Shilling. Right. Final couple for you. The fastest pace —
[laughter]
Benjamin: The fastest blockchain on paper until freedom releases their results, of course. And the very confusing practice of chemically whitening your bum hole.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: Last couple of letters of Solano.
Joanne: Salano.
[crosstalk]
Benjamin: Salano bleaching. Brilliance. My favorite one to finish up on, the Pinocchio Plonker who didn’t invent then Bitcoin, definitely Didn’t invent Bitcoin, and a rhyming name for a small penis.
Vladamir: Craig, little Craig.
[laughter]
[crosstalk]
Joanne: Like weenie?
Benjamin: Yeah. You got it. That’s a weenie then. Craig Wrigh-Teeny-weenie!
[laughter]
Vladamir: You have to know that we’re not familiar with the —
Benjamin: I don’t think we need to ask then, but who won? What are our final scores, Dionne?
Dionne: Well, the NF Take-it-somewhere-else have 11 points and MF Tease-Me-Tease-Me have 13.
[applause]
Benjamin: Teanie-weenie.
Joanne: You’re going to get sued. You’re going to get sued. I have a teanie-weenie.
Benjamin: I tried to get sued by Steven Seagal, but apparently he’s cool about it so I had to find someone who isn’t cool.
Vladamir: If Craig is wrong then what’s pending?
Benjamin: Well, we enter the Craig Wright or Wrong paradox, I think. Thank you ever so much for joining tonight, guys. It’s been another great show. Tony, Alexander Filatov, Vladamir, and Joanne, you’ve been awesome. Our scorekeeper Dionne, and me the plancha with the clipboard. Thank you very much, everyone. Have a great night apart.
Joanne: Bye, Everybody.
Speakers: Bye.
[music]
Benjamin: Vladamir, apart from Satoshi, obviously, which is raise a toast to Satoshi’s last communication. I wasn’t expecting you all to toast them, but nice.
[laughter]
Benjamin: Love it when a plan comes together.
[laughter]
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